Monday, October 27, 2008

~A Young girl's purity~

I went to Sarah Fry's blog and here is the question that she had written...

If you could give a bit of advice to some girls (and their mothers) about emotional and physical purity, what would you tell them? (She received a lot of input, so if you would like to go to her blog and read her comments, you may.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I had never thought of making this a blog topic...I SURELY have had a burden for our young girls/ladies and their purity. So, I have posted my thoughts below. If any of you have any input, feel free to comment. Having 2 daughters myself, I want to learn all I can to help them want to remain pure.

~Heather~ said...

Sarah, You have touched on a subject that Rings my bell!!! Having just spent 5 months back in the USA, I was SAD to see some of our dear holiness girls dressing in such a way to leave LITTLE to the imagination. Right before I left to come back here to Colombia...I started taking notes in case I got a chance to speak to our young girls, but I didn't. As my brother would say, "IF IT'S NOT FOR SALE...DON'T ADVERTISE IT."i In this day and age we hear all about guys making comments over those "hot chics" and sometimes we girls/ladies think that if they don't mention us...that we aren't pretty. (I know...for I have faced this living in 2 different countries where the men ALWAYS make comments and openly STARE at nearly every women they see.) However, in talking to my wonderful husband about this the other day...he said, "If a rattle-trap truck came down the road making noise, men would look at it and say, "That's interesting." (but those men wouldn't want that for THEIR TRUCK!) So just because a man looks at a women and makes comments DOES NOT MEAN that he appreciates her for showing off her body. The decent men try to look the other way and WISH that she would cover up...and that is NOT the girl that they would chose to become their "Mrs." I wish our girls/young ladies could realize the TROUBLE that they cause men by dressing with such low cut blouses, short skirts, and TIGHT clothes...and how men (or at least our Christian men) are wanting to see some pretty yet purely dressed young ladies with a godly character that outshines the next cheap girl whose clothes (or lack there of) say "For Sale".
True, God made men to love and appreciate beauty, (And if you are happily married like I am, you know how much it means to you that your man loves and appreciates you =) but it gets HARD for our men (who want to keep PURE MINDS) to try to dodge all of the women who go around selling themselves. (I feel SORRY for my man...for we are missionaries in a country where the women dress leaving NOTHING to the imagination, so EVERYWHERE he goes, he is turning his head so as not to see the sights.) If the young men are just interested in a girl's looks or body, THEN OUR GIRLS DON'T WANT THAT TYPE ANYWAY!
I think that if we as Mommies and Daddies can try to help our girls see how precious and priceless they are...that they will gain Godly confidence to help them stay pure until that right "Mr. Right" comes along. Somehow...we parents need to pass on to our girls that a good part of their self-worth comes from a pure heart and a right relationship with God. And that their self-worth does NOT depend on if men are making comments about them or if they have a boyfriend or not.
My Grandmother told my mother..."A good name is ALL a poor girl has!" Once you have defiled your name, it's hard to live that down. My Moma said that even today...when she looks at her GBS year books, the memory of the girls that grew careless and sinned still stand out to her. We need to teach our young ladies (And our young men) that what they do will follow them ALL OF THEIR LIVES!
When I was in college, one of my Bible professor brought up the Scripture verse about NOT DEFRAUDING YOUR BROTHER. 1Th 4:6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter:
He mentioned that doing things just as simple as holding hands, hugging, etc. can lead to desires that SHOULD NOT be fulfilled until after marriage. This would be considered as defrauding your brother/sister. WOW!
Another thing that comes to my mind is...(without trying to be unkind):
Where are the FATHERS of some of the young ladies that we see with tighter clothes on, etc.? We mothers do not THINK like a man does, so we might not think anything about what our girl is wearing. So, I believe it is the responsibility of the Fathers to kindly instruct their daughters on what clothes they should wear to keep themselves pure and Holy, to help the young men around them to keep pure minds... and to be a bride that can honestly wear a gown of white.

Some books I recommend Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
Beautiful Girlhood
Revised by Karen Andreola
and for smaller children:
The Princess and the Kiss
Jennie Bishop, Author
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
God help we parents as we try to raise DAUGHTERS OF AND FOR THE KING OF KINGS!!

19 comments:

Michele said...

I really enjoyed and agreed with your thoughts on this topic! As a mother of an 11yr. old boy on the verge of noticing these things it warms my heart that there are moms and dads out there teaching their girls such wonderful values! May God help me to raise a Godly man! Thanks for sharing!

Diane said...

WELL said, Heather, and Thank You for saying it!!! I agree with you 100%.

Dixie said...

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. It is something that is much needed. I really enjoyed what you had to say and certainly agree with you.

Thank you for praying for Dad. It is such an encouragement to know that others are praying with us.

The Going Blog said...

It is up to the parents to tell the kids what is appropriate or not. Where are they! Beauty is found best in purity. Kids don't naturally know that. Just because it is covered is not good enough if we can tell what is covered. Again the parents need to step up to the plate and warn both genders of what is appropriate touch. It isn't cute to see a non married couple sitting on each others lap. Okay, I'm going to step down off of my soap box and do my best to practice what I preach.

Peggy B. said...

I agree. I get so tired of seeing more than I want to see.

Jennifer said...

Hi! I recently found your blog and really enjoy it. You have a lovely family. I really appreciate your comments on the subject of purity. I was beginning to feel a little "old school" at age 27!

Ronda said...

Excellent thoughts on purity....I think that it reflects on the "parents" of these girls that dress as they shouldn't...It all starts with good parenting! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Loved your fall pictures! Adorable!

Verla said...

Amen sister you preach it and I will turn the pages. It is too bad that the parents of today cannot see what it is doing to the world by letting them dress the way that they want to. Of course if the mother tends to dress like that then the daughter will follow in their footsteps. Good truth for today.

Danny,Liz,Becca,Ben, Abby and Caleb said...

I too read Sarah's blog and agreed with the comments as well. It is a subject that does not get talked about as much as it should and I am relieved to see 2 blogs now discussing it! What a responsibility we have to our own daughters to teach them to dress modestly and appropriately! My dh does a wonderful job of screening our daughters clothing. At the tender ages of 9 and 4, I admit that sometimes I have not understood or agreed with his decisions for them to not wear certain things. I now see that he is right to be as consistent as he has been. If we allow our daughters to wear certain clothing now while they are young then what will stop them when they are older and their bodies have matured making those once seemingly innocent items look revealing for them to wear? God help us and give us wisdom as we raise our children in this day we live in to be a light for Jesus!

Rob and Deanna said...

Excellent Truth, Heather! I pray that some of our young ladies read this and "Receive" it as well. They are Worth SO MUCH MORe than physical!

Vonnie said...

Amen!

Bev said...

Heather I could not agree with you more. I know from first hand experience what sin can do to someone and how it effects you for the rest of your life, thank God for his salvation, but this is my burden too. I have spoken to my pastors wife about this often of how I would love a chance to minister to these girls in Bible College and warn of them of what can happen because they crave the attention more than the respect. I still struggle with respecting myself for some of the things I did and satan battles me almost daily because of it. I do thank God for my husband, even though I has no understanding of salvation, he is a good man and works and hard and does love me. I know that even though I was a sinner girl when we met and married he saw something a little more wholesome, due to my upbringing, than what was around him. We have 3 beautiful children that I would trade for the world. If these young girls could understand that you pay more for sin than it is worth. I will say this that unfortunately I am seeing parents of these young people who are letting things slide in their own dress so it is no wonder the kids see no wrong in what they do. We have to be a godly example to our children. Thank you for voicing your thoughts and inspirations on this subject.

LaDonna said...

Thanks for addressing this issue. I have a teenage son that is beginning to look for that future mate, and time and time again he has been so disappointed in girls that he THOUGHT were good, but are so wrapped up in fashion and are revealing more than they should. It is TOUGH for men, and I wish more fathers were on "duty" to check their girls before they left the house! Prayer for my son's purity is just as important, prayer that he can resist the temptation that is constantly being put before him. God help us to be faithful!

Toots said...

Heather,
I too have been working on a future post on this important topic. I appreciate your comments. I so agree that fathers (especially) need to help both their wives and daughters understand how to dress most appropriately (modestly, meekly, feminily, etc.) so as to truly "love" (in the agape sense) our brothers and sisters in Christ as well as the world around us.

Andrew said...

Heather, Very good post! I totally agree with you and I too have two girls so was very interested in the books that you recommended. I am going to try and get them. Of course my girls are not old enough to even think about boys but it seems that unfortunately the "dating " age is getting younger and younger. I too want my girls to learn how Jesus would want them dressed so that others don't think of them as "cheap". Our daughters are our precious jewels that God has given us care over and we need to guard them as if they were the world's most priceless diamond.
Again, thanks for your comments and we need to remember to keep praying for each other as we raise our children as God wants us too.
Also just in case you don't know who I am,I met you at Trint and Janettes wedding I am married to Janette's brother Brian. Feel free to check out our blog anytime and I love seeing how God is using you and your family in Columbia. My parents were missionaries to Mexico from the time I was six months old so seeing what God is doing through the lives of other missionaries is such a joy to me. Keep up the good work and May God Richly bless you!

Misty said...

Great post! I want to get the Princess and the Kiss for my girls for Christmas. My husband and I have discussed this quite often in the past year especially, we are raising 4 girls (yikes!!) Thankfully my husband is very concerned on this subject also. We have had a couple of great sermons the last two Sunday morning too.

Changing the subject here :-) I am glad you like the sling. Elijah is big enough he would probably be best in a hip carry with the sling, just make sure you tighten it up good so you back will not hurt. I had Kara like that yesterday in the grocery store and she loved looking around.

Blessings~
Misty

Kim M. said...

AMEN!

Sarah Cook said...

Very well written and needed!
God bless!

Anonymous said...

My Moma heart sings praises to Jesus for a daughter that chooses virture for herself and daughters as well. I just read your comments and it is refreshing that so many others share the same values. My heart went out to Bev as she exposed her heart and may I remind her that when that past is under the Blood, Jesus does not remember. Isn't Salvation a wonderful plan! Praise God for giving His Son for all. I love you, Moma

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...