If you could give a bit of advice to some girls (and their mothers) about emotional and physical purity, what would you tell them? (She received a lot of input, so if you would like to go to her blog and read her comments, you may.)
While I had never thought of making this a blog topic...I SURELY have had a burden for our young girls/ladies and their purity. So, I have posted my thoughts below. If any of you have any input, feel free to comment. Having 2 daughters myself, I want to learn all I can to help them want to remain pure.
Sarah, You have touched on a subject that Rings my bell!!! Having just spent 5 months back in the USA, I was SAD to see some of our dear holiness girls dressing in such a way to leave LITTLE to the imagination. Right before I left to come back here to Colombia...I started taking notes in case I got a chance to speak to our young girls, but I didn't. As my brother would say, "IF IT'S NOT FOR SALE...DON'T ADVERTISE IT."i In this day and age we hear all about guys making comments over those "hot chics" and sometimes we girls/ladies think that if they don't mention us...that we aren't pretty. (I know...for I have faced this living in 2 different countries where the men ALWAYS make comments and openly STARE at nearly every women they see.) However, in talking to my wonderful husband about this the other day...he said, "If a rattle-trap truck came down the road making noise, men would look at it and say, "That's interesting." (but those men wouldn't want that for THEIR TRUCK!) So just because a man looks at a women and makes comments DOES NOT MEAN that he appreciates her for showing off her body. The decent men try to look the other way and WISH that she would cover up...and that is NOT the girl that they would chose to become their "Mrs." I wish our girls/young ladies could realize the TROUBLE that they cause men by dressing with such low cut blouses, short skirts, and TIGHT clothes...and how men (or at least our Christian men) are wanting to see some pretty yet purely dressed young ladies with a godly character that outshines the next cheap girl whose clothes (or lack there of) say "For Sale".
True, God made men to love and appreciate beauty, (And if you are happily married like I am, you know how much it means to you that your man loves and appreciates you =) but it gets HARD for our men (who want to keep PURE MINDS) to try to dodge all of the women who go around selling themselves. (I feel SORRY for my man...for we are missionaries in a country where the women dress leaving NOTHING to the imagination, so EVERYWHERE he goes, he is turning his head so as not to see the sights.) If the young men are just interested in a girl's looks or body, THEN OUR GIRLS DON'T WANT THAT TYPE ANYWAY!
I think that if we as Mommies and Daddies can try to help our girls see how precious and priceless they are...that they will gain Godly confidence to help them stay pure until that right "Mr. Right" comes along. Somehow...we parents need to pass on to our girls that a good part of their self-worth comes from a pure heart and a right relationship with God. And that their self-worth does NOT depend on if men are making comments about them or if they have a boyfriend or not.
My Grandmother told my mother..."A good name is ALL a poor girl has!" Once you have defiled your name, it's hard to live that down. My Moma said that even today...when she looks at her GBS year books, the memory of the girls that grew careless and sinned still stand out to her. We need to teach our young ladies (And our young men) that what they do will follow them ALL OF THEIR LIVES!
When I was in college, one of my Bible professor brought up the Scripture verse about NOT DEFRAUDING YOUR BROTHER. 1Th 4:6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter:
He mentioned that doing things just as simple as holding hands, hugging, etc. can lead to desires that SHOULD NOT be fulfilled until after marriage. This would be considered as defrauding your brother/sister. WOW!
Another thing that comes to my mind is...(without trying to be unkind):
Where are the FATHERS of some of the young ladies that we see with tighter clothes on, etc.? We mothers do not THINK like a man does, so we might not think anything about what our girl is wearing. So, I believe it is the responsibility of the Fathers to kindly instruct their daughters on what clothes they should wear to keep themselves pure and Holy, to help the young men around them to keep pure minds... and to be a bride that can honestly wear a gown of white.
Some books I recommend Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot
Beautiful Girlhood Revised by Karen Andreola
and for smaller children:
The Princess and the Kiss
Jennie Bishop, Author
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God help we parents as we try to raise DAUGHTERS OF AND FOR THE KING OF KINGS!!